The White God is Dead

It’s not like the good old days anymore.

Perhaps on your university campus, you spotted a rather well put together Asian woman hanging off the arm of a rather average Joe.

Perhaps some older gent regaled you with his tales of sexual debauchery in Tokyo during his stint in the Navy.

Perhaps you’ve heard stories of some loser friend of a friend who moved to Japan to teach English who had raven-haired goddesses lined up around the block outside his tiny apartment despite his poor hygiene, potbelly, and complete lack of Japanese language skills.

Whatever the reason, wives’ (or perhaps Bros’) tales and missing-context observations like these lead people outside of Japan to believe that sexual “White God” status is instantly granted — like super human strength to Kal-El after he crash landed on Earth– to any male Caucasian foreigner who touches ground at Narita International Airport. From the stories you hear, you’d think that Japanese women are launching themselves mouth-first on to the open crotch of any round-eye in striking distance.

Fortunately, I am here to tell you, dear reader, don’t believe the hype: Game is a requirement here in the land of the rising sun for white guys as well. If you’re not getting laid back home, chances are you won’t turn into Casanova here. These tales of white sexual supremacy, while containing slivers of truth, only serve to distract from the realities of modern-day danjokankei, giving delusions of grandeur to the fair skinned and burdening the ruddier complexions with unnecessary self-doubt.

The astute observer of game can see schlubby white guys striking out with surprisingly normal regularity anywhere foreigners and locals mingle. Japanese girls, as a rule of thumb, are polite to a fault and will entertain even the most ham-handed of pick-up attempts, especially if gifted a drink or two. However, observe the closed off body language and stolen glances at phones and you will understand that wonderbread homeboy with the graphic tee and cargo shorts is going home with nothing but a phone number and false hope. While it may have been true before the bubble burst, the idea that some Bill Gates look alike can simply waltz out of any foreigner-friendly establishment in Japan with a stone cold hottie on his arm is unfounded.

Also consider that a stereotypical, fresh-off-the-plane white guy foreigner has no functional Japanese to speak of, necessarily confining his activities to nightlife areas where his chances of meeting a girl with decent English are highest. To take home a girl from one of these areas, he’s going to have to compete with hordes of other English speakers looking to do exactly the same thing. Despite the lack of competitive local males, there are enough snatch seeking foreigners around to make most Roppongi meat markets sausage heavy affairs.

Still, the overall lack of overtly bitchy or confrontational behavior means that any hopeful foreign lothario will be able to psychologically tolerate more failed approaches. This, in conjunction with the paucity of local competition, means that his chances of finding the odd girl who is receptive to his specific combination of low-level looks and game are much increased due to an abundance of targets and ease of approach. Dumb luck and persistence likely have more to do with his success than some pervasive preference for white meat.

How to collect phone numbers that go nowhere in Japan

And while it is true that many losers-back-home have girlfriends, they are rarely batting out of the J-league average. It is westerners with porky, flip-flop wearing girlfriends, and of course said girlfriends themselves, who perpetuate the White God myth when they see pictures of plain Jim with his new Japanese waifu. They don’t understand that the American 7 Jim snagged is actually a Japanese 5 because they do not know how high the average Japanese girl ranks on looks (or how low they/their women are) in comparison. The phenomenon of hot Asians linking up with normal white guys can be explained as simple geoarbitage of the sexual market.

There are rare cases where some gangly white dude with greasy hair continuously bags top-class talent. The reason for his success, however, is usually the result of being a DJ/photographer/musician rather than a lack of melatonin.  And of course there is a subset of Japanese women who date white guys exclusively, just as there is a subset that frequent reggae events to pursue black guys.  Even larger than those two groups are the group of women who have no fucking idea what they want until someone makes them want it.

One distinct arena where white guys do have an advantage in Japan is online dating. Most of the English-friendly dating sites are self-selected for women who prefer white men. However, guys who use said dating sites encounter similar roadblocks and pitfalls as they would if they were online dating in their home countries. Guys who look like weirdo weaboos don’t do so well. Good-looking white guys with high salaries can do a lot of damage. None of this is specific to Japan.

My crew of puss pirates looks like a group you’d see on a stock photo for corporate diversity. What I see is that the guys, no matter what color they are, who go out the most and put the most effort into their game are the ones who consistently pull. Hell, I’ve had Japanese girls choose me and my Japanese mug over my white wingmen many a time. I’ve also had girls choose my black/indian/mexican friend over both a white guy and me. I have nerdy shut-in friends who barely get laid at all. Personally, I just don’t see white having any extreme advantages over any other skin tone. A favorable effective ratio, less bitchy/entitled attitudes, and a high standard of beauty are advantages enjoyed by all those who look good and come correct, regardless of their heritage.

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